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BFFiction

What are some qualities YOU look for in a BFF?  I was randomly thinking about this while staring at a stack of boxes mysteriously labeled BFF at the Minute Clinic inside my local CVS.  As I waited (for two hours) for a nurse to inspect my suspected ear infection my mind wandered from wondering why these boxes were all labeled BFF to what it means to be a best friend.

According to The Friendship Blog blogger Irene S. Levine PhD suggests the qualities of loyalty, trust and supportiveness.  I couldn’t agree more.  Trust, in particular, is a critical virtue in any relationship.  After all, what good is a best friend who lies to you, turns their back on your or is just outright phony?

Shortly thereafter, I was reading Hungry for Books?  Lou Kasischke is the author of the novel “After The Wind”  In this site’s July 30th blog, Trina Hayes mentioned having an emotional connection with this particular book.  Best friends certainly share an emotional connection.

Suddenly, it dawned on me … what better friend to have than your favorite book.  More specifically, what better friend could exist than a good fiction book?  Think about it … a good book always tells the truth.  You can trust this since it is positively impossible for fiction to lie.  It may not tell you what you want to hear (as the character you’ve fallen in love with gets their heart broken or is negatively impacted by tragic circumstances) but it’s still the author’s truth for that particular story.

Fiction is loyal.  Your favorite book can’t ever just get up and walk away from you.  Although you may choose to put it down for a moment; it’s always there ready for you to pick it back up and continue reading.  And when the book comes to an end, it’s still there for you to read again, discuss with others or share with anyone.

Think of all the fiction we encounter on a daily basis.  Most of which, these days, comes from movies and television.  And then there’s what I like to call crossover fiction.  Crossover Fiction is like the The Real Housewives of … phenomena that encompasses the Bravo network.  These are real life people but I can’t help but wonder if some of their drama is either created or exaggerated for the purposes of gaining ratings or the cameras are absent during a juicy outbreak and the ladies are asked to recreate the incident again for the cameras.  Anytime you need a good cry or a laugh, fiction is right there – just like a best friend, supporting you whenever you need it.

You, along with millions of other people, seek out fiction for how it make you feel.  A fictional character or story never turns its back on you. Well-written fictions will engage you and, therefore, establish an emotional connection.  You can trust your cravings for drama, action, laughter or a good cry will be supported.  I like to  think of fiction as America’s BFF.  Just like a best friend, it’s there whenever you need it.

What’s your favorite fictional story?  Or maybe it’s historical fiction?  How would you compare your favorite book or film or character to your best friend?  Interesting idea – huh?

August 6, 2014 by
Publishing

What the Heck is Favorable Attention?

“What the heck is favorable attention?” a friend asked me today.  My respond was simply:  “It’s a conversational game-changer.”

Of course, this begged more question, so I commenced with a more in depth explanation along with some examples.  Favorable Attention is all about appealing to your listener’s pride.  So what does appeal to pride mean?  Look for something that is of importance to your listener and compliment them on it.  For example, did a positive change recently occur in the life of the person you’re talking with?  This could be a new job, promotion, engagement, new home, recent vacation, accomplishment of a goal, new car, etc.  Or is there a known quality about that person that you admire?  If any of these exist, acknowledge and compliment them on it.  One of the best examples of this is actually given in my book “The Diamond Thieves” of the Extra Innings trilogy when the character Pastor Cook is trying to get the attention of the adults who are in an uproar over T.J. playing in the 4th of July baseball game because T.J. is black and their sons are white.  (Remember this trilogy takes place during the late 1940’s to early 50’s in the Deep South and encompasses the theme of social injustice.  Cook compliments the feuding men by calling them “intelligent men” and goes a step further by acknowledging that “everyone here knows that about you.”

Imagine the opposite.  What would happen if you’re initiating your conversations with an insult?   Immediately, your listener would become defensive.  For example, if a manager or supervisor was trying to counsel an unproductive or insubordinate employee and starts off the conversation with:  “I don’t know what’s come over you?  You use to be our top producer and lately you’re sales are worse than some of our newbies.”  Versus if the boss starts the counseling like this:  “You have more integrity than most anyone I’ve ever worked with and historically, I can always rely on you for outstanding results.  Help me to understand what’s been getting in the way of your performance lately and let’s see if we can work together to get you back on track.”   You’ve appealed to the listener’s pride by complimenting them on their integrity and past reliability to perform.  There is nothing about this sentence that would trigger the listener to become defensive.  This allows them to continue the coaching session with an open mind and without the distraction of a defensive wall.

My father, Wes Gibson is who taught me about Favorable Attention.  He was a VP with Goodyear and is a master at this skill.  He learned it from his father, my grandfather, Charles Gibson who had a successful career with the Singer Sewing Company.  This skill, like most, is not developed overnight.  It takes continuous practice.  When mastered, it will take your conversation skills to a whole new level and allow you to leverage any conversation to ensure that your listener receives a clear message from you with fewer distractions.  It also allows the listener to walk away feeling good about the conversation.  Remember the Maya Angelou quote from my last blog “A Writer’s Worth of Mouth.”  Maya said: “People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  So why not say something that makes them feel good about themselves.  This will also keep you in a positive light in their mind and allow for a better connection between you and them.  Appeal to their pride with a compliment and this will gain you the Favorable Attention you need to make a more positive lasting impression and get your message across without any major roadblocks.

August 2, 2014 by
Publishing

A Writer’s Word of Mouth

Ever wondered how to advertise your book with no budget?  Recently, I attended an Author’s Book Fair at the Hudson Library & Historical Society in Hudson, Ohio.  I had the privilege of meeting some very talented Ohio Authors and one of the most interesting insights they shared with me was that Word of Mouth had been the most instrumental tool in promoting their work.

Although “word of mouth” certainly doesn’t have the fleeting viral impact of a successful internet campaign, I agree with these authors in terms of it not underestimating it’s power.  In order for it to work, however, I believe when you’re discussing you’re book with someone there must be passion and conviction in your voice.  These qualities must be genuine or your discussion will not radiate.  Remember what Maya Angelou said:  “People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Being the book’s author, you are definitely the SME (Subject Matter Expert) of its contents.  However, are you prepared to summarize your book during an on the spot discussion with a stranger?  A good way to equip yourself for this more finite discussion is by composing an elevator speech.  This is a quick synopsis used to communicate some of the key highlights of your book.  I have heard some incredibly impactful elevator speeches as well as some real doozies.  For example, a smart elevator speech could simply be a paraphrased version of the summary that’s printed on the back or inside jacket of your book.  It might also include a snapshot of what inspired you to tell the story.  Make it clear, concise and most importantly, interesting.  You want your elevator speech to beg more questions of the listener.

Remember THREE THINGS:

1. ‘Practice Makes Perfect’

2. Allow yourself to be flexible.  The first elevator speech you create doesn’t have to remain set in stone.  As you use it throughout your encounters with people, if something doesn’t feel right our sounds awkward, revisit it and revise.  The more fluently-sounding your speech becomes will enhance the passion and conviction in your voice.  This will make people feel excited to read your book and it’s that feeling that will be their biggest take away – NOT the words you’ve chosen.

3. Have fun!  This also ties directly into how you will make your listener feel.  If the tone of your voice and the words you’ve chosen are dry and unexciting, you will elicit zero intrigue to run out and buy your book.

In closing today’s blog, I want to give credit to the three particular authors who clued me into this piece of advice:

Jody Casella:  Author of ‘Thin Space‘

Mindy McGinnis: Author of ‘Not a Drop to Drink‘ (soon to be a movie)

Natalie D Richards:  ‘Author of ‘Six Months Later‘

These books, along with my first novel Extra Innings: The Diamond Thieves, can be found online at Barnes & Noble and Amazon.com

Enjoy and PLEASE share your feedback on Goodreads and their individual Amazon page.  Authors really need the review support from readers like you.

July 30, 2014 by
Publishing

How To Connect When You Have Nothing in Common

Ever been with a group of people that all of a sudden they all disperse and you’re left standing or sitting there with someone you don’t know or know that you share nothing in common?  Awkward isn’t it?   Often times we’re not quick on our feet or crafty at striking up an interesting enough conversation to squash the uncomfortable silence.  The solution to this problem lies in the first half of my Mission Statement which is “To Connect and Inspire.”  A good rule of thumb is to be more interested than interesting.  Move in quickly (the sooner the better) with a good question to find out more about the person.  Ask about their interests, listen, respond to show that you are listening and then proceed with another question that’s pertinent to how they answered the first question.  Hopefully, even though you may know nothing about what interests them, it’s something that you’re able to be genuinely interested in or else you’re going to be bored to tears (which may, in fact, be the lesser of the two evils versus the previous awkward silence).

Remember: People love to hear themselves talk and they love talking about themselves.  So be the proactive one and ask them a compelling question.  Over time you’ll develop this skill and be able to ask questions that will guide the conversation into a topic that interests you as well.   A key driver of this skill is imagination.  A compelling imagination will help you ask a more interesting question that leads to a more interesting conversation.

Writers are gifted with a vast imagination.  So, whether they know it or not, they would be very good at coming up with compelling questions.  Actors too.  Think about it, a writer often writes about or an actor may have to play a character with whom they have nothing in common.  So how do they do this so well?  You have to be willing to learn new things.  If the person you’re standing there alone with is talking about things that don’t interest you all it takes is an open mind to be able to connect with them.   Being open-minded comes with some great benefits!  The more open-minded you are the more people you will connect with and who knows where one of those connections will take you one day.  For example, it might just skyrocket your career.

NBC ran series of public service announcement entitled “The More You Know” encouraging parents to be more involved in their children’s education.  This trains young people to be more open-minded.  Research shows that communities that support multicultural studies have a significant reduction acts of prejudice and racial injustice.  These topics are themes in my Extra Inning trilogy with a particular focus during the baseball game in the first book ‘The Diamond Thieves.’

Considering the time period (Cold War) and location (Deep South) of the Extra Innings series, I felt it was critical to include these topics in the story.  I’m a white male, so I’ve never personally faced what a black has faced in terms of unfair or unjust treatment because of the color of his skin.  I’ve always had a very diverse pool of friends and enjoyed engaging in conversations that some may find uncomfortable.  These connections have educated me on the topic of discrimination and social injustice.  I am very interested in this topic.

For some, making these sort of connections may not come easy but, again, it’s all about keeping an open mind.  In the end, you’ll be amazed with the new and cherished relationships you’ll establish by keeping an open mind and showing a sincere interest in what’s important in that individual’s life.

July 27, 2014 by
Publishing

A Pen Mightier Than Any Sword

Have you ever signed a document or form and the pen smeared?

How did that make you feel? Frustrated … irritated … or just plain pissed off? Well, imagine being a writer and hosting your a book signing for your latest (or very first) book? How embarrassing!! I recently attended an Author’s Book Fair at the Hudson Library & Historical Society last Saturday (July 19th) in Hudson, Ohio. I had the privilege of meeting some very talented authors which I will blog more about in the near future. My main takeaway was that all 50-some authors were signing books with a black Sharpie. I don’t know why this felt like a mind-blowing revelation to me but I was like wow!  Genius!  I am so glad I picked up on this because I just had my first book signing last night at The Nervous Dog Coffee Shop in Akron, Ohio and I was just planning on using a nice blue that I found laying around our house. Yikes! That would have been a horrible lasting impression if that pen had smeared. ‘The Diamond Thieves‘ is the title of my first book in a young adult historical fiction trilogy entitled Extra Innings.

I’m sure most writers agree that quality is a top priority in their writing. Many writers, like me, are very private about their work and not willing to share it with the general public or even friends and family until it’s just right.  Well, I believe this Attention to Detail should also be applied to any and all interactions with anyone in conjunction with your writing.  Details go a long way.  Imagine the impression your customer who brings their signed book home only to discover that the author’s signature or personalized message has been smeared and indecipherable.  That’s major negative points against your overall quality reputation.  So here’s just a quick and very simple (BUT IMPORTANT) tip for all you writers out there:

Use a Sharpie when signing one of your books. Sign on one of the inside blank pages and NOT immediately inside the cover in case the Sharpie bleeds through. Remember, Attention to Detail is one of the ‘3 Key Qualities to a Successful Writer/Blogger’ (see my previous blogs).  Oh … and one more small suggestion:  I think black just looks the most professional when signing a book.

July 25, 2014 by